Creative Leverage of Emotions in Negotiations

In our Mastermind group last night we reviewed the book Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate by Roger Fisher & Dr. Daniel Shapiro .  Brendon Burchard then gave a brilliant overview of 10 hallmark aspects of extraordinary negotiations. Underlying all is the recognition that relationships  should always supersede the deal. Embrace these ten things along with thinking and creativity tools to leverage the information,  and your negotiating experience and outcomes will more likely to be successful to the fullest extent of the word.

10 hallmarks:

• Presence-real ,attuned emotional availability
• Passion-feeling deeply for what you, as a negotiating group, are working towards which may be bigger than what you, representing your group’s interests alone, want
• Patience-respect other people’s deadlines as well as the unfolding of the process
• Caring-empathy with the other’s identity and position, even if not their view
• Purpose-what’s the overall purpose you are there for , remembering relationships
• Understanding- both intellectually and emotionally ‘getting’ where all parties are coming from
• Clarity- of what you really want and where you’ve come from (issue-wise)
• Leverage- for how things should move forward optimally
• Distraction- breaking negative stories, states and patterns to get back on the route to change
• Camaraderie- playful investment in the process and well-being of all involved
The session was both inspiring and informative. For me personally it was also a validation of an approach I have used over the years in facilitating and coaching groups grappling with sticky issues and wanting breakthrough innovation. I had just never put labels to the steps or philosophical underpinnings  I used along with the thinking tools or systems I was engaging as appropriate to move their thinking from where they were to where they wanted to get, or beyond. For years I have called what I did Design Thinking, based on a comment from Dr. Edward DeBono, whose methods I have taught since I met him in 1988. Beyond the design world (meaning interior design, product designers, etc.) there was no specific use of this term ‘Design Thinking’ until very recently. Now I note it’s considered a ‘new field’ in management circles, with a program now at Stanford University. Good news, I guess. And one more example of how I’ve been ahead of the times, slashing ahead as lead dog….then moving on by the time the mainstream has caught up.

Anyway, this time I’m still here in the game and ready to rev it up!
Thanks to Brendon who, once again, has hit the ball out of the ballpark.